I do not have functioning opposable thumbs ....

I do not have functioning opposable thumbs ....

I am, therefore, not quite as useful as a monkey.

See ... my right thumb was fractured due to an incident involving my brother, a fence, a ball, a chase, a wall, him ducking, me going ice skating, and it being set wrong. In December 2006 I wrote a blog entry about breaking a brick that explains it.

See ... my left thumb was broken when I went for a little jog, encountered a dog behind a fence that somehow found his way over the fence and charged me. That dog caused me to lose balance, fall back and land awkwardly on my thumb and wrist, fracturing it in several places requiring surgery and a titanium screw to be drilled through my thumb. I called into work to tell them I would be late the next day due to a dog attack. My boss thought the note was a joke. When I arrived the next day with a cast from the tip of my thumb up to my armpit I began a journey that led my coworkers to consider me the unluckiest guy they had ever met. Oh, and try and button your slacks with one hand. An ambulance chaser lawyer gave up trying to get me compensation from the dog owner, the situation was that bad.

The right thumb was not an issue for me for the most part, in fact it gave me a decent slider. But, I do not have the strength in that thumb I could have due to it being offset from where it should be.

The left thumb continues to be a problem. I have had cortisone shots. It is never a good sign when the doc tells you not to move because it is really going to hurt and that I would not want him to have to do it again. The thumb bends weird ways and gives out a lot, causing me to drop things. It is also the "thumb of control" for dance partners who wish to back lead and use my hand like an old Atari joystick to lead me wherever they want me to go.