The end of videos ...

Sub stories and anecdotes to end the school year ...

I had seen the first 40 or so minutes of these three movies a half dozen times each while subbing for music at this one school. Each was under an hour and made for TV in the 90s (For the record they are Handel's Last Chance, Bach's Fight For Freedom, and Beethoven Lives Upstairs.). I had watched each of them up to the 40 minute mark in each period of the day and never finished them. One day I was back at the school and was instructed to show videos ... so, I simply decided we were watching the ends of these videos and over the course of the day finally saw the end of all of them. This may not seem especially noteworthy, but when you see all but 12 minutes of the same film five times there comes a point where you just want to see how it ends.

There is something both cute and startling about a four year old remarking in a very matter of fact way, "These scissors suck."

Quote from a middle school age girl, "I get lost in Nordstrom's."

Kids still procrastinate. When they do I tell them "My Wuthering Heights Story" from high school. We were assigned the book at the start of the quarter and I simply did not read it. The day before we were told that the teacher had the Cliff Notes and would know if we had only read the Cliff Notes from our answers. So, given that I do read fast I decided to read the entire book that evening. I sat up in the bathroom reading all night long (to hide the fact that I had procrastinated from my folks I used the far side of the house bathroom) and finished the book in the class period prior to it being due. That is procrastination.

The middle school kids were doing a timed run on a really nice Spring day. They had to do as many laps around the school as they could in 25 minutes. I found myself outrunning 7th and 8th graders in the afternoon. Yes, I am the tortoise. they would take off and burn out and at the end of the 25 minutes I was ahead of about 70 percent of them. The old guy still has it.

Taylor Swift obsessions seem very common among boys 6th grade and up. I wasn't entirely certain who she was (really) and can see why. Plus, she is the age of their older sister's friends ...

I hate it when I have to do something like inspecting back packs. I tell the students "My Germany Coffee Story" wherein I had to sit in customs for hours due to meeting a drug courier profile in 1990 (For the record I had long hair, was travelling alone and light, and had some small bags of coffee which could have been masking the scent of drugs.). So, the other day when a student claimed another student had stolen something and it was in the bag i asked the student accused if he would voluntarily open his bag for me or we would need to get the VP involved. He cooperated, (a bit pissy about it but cooperation need not be happy) and it appeared he did not have it.

I had a Kindergarten student defend himself about sticking his tongue out at someone with the following statement. "My tongue accidentally was out because my mouth was open and my tongue didn't like that so it just popped out. I wasn't sticking it out at him."

There was this fourth grader in a little orange hoody during dodge ball that might be the most amazing dodge ball prodigy I have ever seen. In order to win the version we were playing one team had to knock down the three bowling pins set up at the end of the gym. This kid would fly out of no where and deflect and catch throws. I almost couldn't fake him out and I can throw really hard. The nice part of this version is I can play without throwing the ball at fourth graders ...

I heard, "Holy sh---..."
"Holy Sh! is right. be quiet." I said.

A couple students fell asleep during a film and as I was about to gently wake them a girl asked, no begged me, to let her drop books on their desks to wake them with a bang.

The other day a car parked like a really nice sports car parks at the mall ... you know, in two spots because it is too nice to park near someone. Only, it was a VW, not a sports car, and appeared to be a Jetta ... in an elementary school parking lot.

Overheard a conversation in the school office before school between the attendance lady and a student, "You're telling me that you can't be here today ..." While he was standing in front of her with his backpack on after getting off the bus. I just kept walking.

Some middle school students I work with a lot came up with an actually fun and friendly nickname for me this year that I just go with ... and then I found myself signing yearbooks (by request) as that nickname. So, years from now they will see the nickname, but my real name and photo will not be in the yearbook.

Also, of all the things to make me feel old. Another teacher was reading a joke email sent to him and asked, "Who is John Holmes?" 'nuff said on that one.

... and another school year ends ...