Wednesday, April 08, 2009

To clarify for my friends

I often make comments and jokes about how I do not want to get married again.

The perception is that I am somehow anti-marriage or do not respect it. This is not so.

In fact, the main reason why I do not see me ever getting married again is because I do have respect for marriage. See, I think that when married, life alters. Your relationships with friends and family alter. The changes one must make in order to make a marriage work are pretty big and require compromises in order to really be committed to that one person and make the two people one entity. At one time it was me, but that situation did not work out and I am way past it now. The various reasons for getting married again simply do not add up for me. For instance, I won't be having more kids. Over the past 4+ years I have dated and had some false starts and made some mistakes and tried to have relationships. Right now I am single and comfortable with it. Getting married again does not make sense to me based upon how I know myself and where I see my life going.

I wish my married and to be married friends the best of luck and feel badly for them when things do not work out. Divorce is hard.

Just because people are talking it does not mean a real conversation is taking place. I make light of the situation in order to mostly steer away from the subject; sort of like how I try not to talk about other subjects where people simply need to agree to disagree.