Sunday, January 27, 2008

Archive Project - Previously Unpublished Work #3

Archive Project - Previously Unpublished Work #3

The following is a review of a lecture by Dr. Stephen Hawking from 1993 that never ran in the magazines I was writing for at the time ...

Dr. Stephen Hawking - Seattle Opera House - July 1, 1993 (c) 1993

The concert event of the year for four digit IQ's and wannabees alike. A rock concert atmosphere dominated as rich old suits stood outside holding hand-written "Need Tickets" signs and inside purchased Hawking paraphernalia like kids buying t-shirts at a Metallica concert.

A packed house awaited the man of the hour, the man who can sell physics better than Madonna can sell sex, with the book sales to prove it. Stephen Hawking didn't disappoint his his fans. From his computer synthesized voice Hawking lectured us on life, the universe, and everything. The crowd hung on his every word, just hoping to understand something. Mostly, the words flew over all of our heads. He used words like "event horizon" and "baby universe" and explained them to us. All we could do was look up and try to catch a glimpse of his genius as it flew over our heads. The entire set up had a distinctly surreal quality. The Opera House had been turned into a lecture hall. Hawking sat in the middle of a barren stage with an assistant at a table with an overhead projector, the perfect TA.

The question and answer session was macabre. A question would be posed. Hawking would sit there for several minutes. He would say, "I will answer." It was like EF Hutton's biggest dream as the place would instantly fall silent. Most of the questions were interesting, a few were stupid, one man asked Hawking if Hawking thought the man could see the future since he had lucid dreams and claimed to be something called an "onironaut" (I don't have a clue how to spell that word). Nobody was too impressed with the lucid guy, including Hawking, who slammed him for being so stupid.

As I went home I thought of science classes I've taken. I just wished all science classes could be that cool . . . and have no tests at the end.

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